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When my son, Nathan, was 2 and a half years old he was diagnosed with Stage 3 Wilm’s Tumor, which is a kidney cancer. He had one kidney removed, underwent radiation, and had almost a year of chemotherapy treatment. Nathan has now been cancer-free for 12 years (as of 8/23)!

September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. I am aware of childhood cancer every month, every day, but September is a time to focus efforts and bring awareness to everyone. The need for awareness is because of the lack of funding for childhood cancer research. Due to limited funding, there is limited research to discover the causes of childhood cancer. Children do not get cancer for the same reasons adults do. Childhood cancers are not generally caused by smoking or sun or plastic or microwaves or cell phones or too much whatever, they are children and have not had enough time to do anything to cause this awful disease. So, too many kids get cancer and the cause is unknown! Also, due to limited funding, there are limited treatment options. Therefore, children are treated with adult protocols. Yes, they are adjusted for children, but the fact is kids and grown-ups are different and even when adjusted they are still treatments created for bigger bodies that are done growing and changing.

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No matter the age, cancer is awful. Not all people are cured of cancer on Earth. All of that to say…I am so thankful for the treatment options and the healing that so many adults and children have because of the treatment available. Eight years ago Nathan’s dad and I agreed to all treatment possible knowing the risks. We chose and would choose again to do everything possible to fight cancer.

Each Fall Nathan returns to the “Clinic” at OU Children’s Hospital for his annual check-up. Thankfully, for him most of the time it is fun. He has more memories that are good than bad, which is an answer to my prayer. He does not remember the long hospital stays, being sick, or any fear. He is comfortable with having blood drawn, he does not mind the warm jelly (ultrasound), the stickers all over( EKG) are routine, he thinks it is cool to pee in a cup, and he would be fine going in the donut (CT Scan), but thankfully he no longer has to do that. He likes getting to see friends (nurses and clinic staff), he likes getting a cookie from Kamp’s, and he sometimes talks me into eating in the cafeteria, although, I do have many memories from eating in that cafeteria, so we generally avoid it!

Last Fall was Nathan’s 7th year check-up off treatment. His check-up was harder on both of us for a few reasons. Nathan’s TLC (Taking on Life After Cancer) doctor is amazing! Since he is amazing he does a really great job of meeting kids where they are developmentally. Now that Nathan is 11, 10 at the time of this appointment, the doctor was educating him on his medical history and just making sure he had a good understanding of what happened to him and what the risks were because of his treatment. These were things like possible secondary cancers developing, kidney failure in one good kidney, infertility, heart failure, spine damage, and skin cancer due to radiation…often these late effects are seen around puberty as the body is changing. Yea, it was a real fun appointment! Okay, no it wasn’t! Nathan and I were both shell shocked! None of what he shared was new information to me, but most I choose not to think about and do not need to think about because my boy is now strong and healthy!

The other reason we did not like that appointment was because of some of Nathan’s lab results. No cancer, still cancer-free! However, his results showed concern about his remaining kidney. This could have been caused by a few different things, so we agreed to make extra effort to drink lots of fluids and come back in a few weeks. We did that and numbers were higher, we drank more, and came back again. Numbers even higher. Then, we were sent to a pediatric nephrologist (kid’s kidney doctor).

In January 2018, we met with the nephrologist and she quickly, bluntly told us that “Nathan had stage 3 kidney disease and would need a kidney transplant within the next few years. Hopefully, he could avoid dialysis and go straight to transplant. I am so very sorry, see you in 6 months.” This was caused by the late effects of chemo. Yea, another great appointment! Not!

Precious Nathan, afterward, decided he “did not really like that doctor and he thought a transplant would really hurt, because, when he had his tonsils out he thought he was going to die, it hurt so bad, and he thought a transplant might be way worse!”

The one good thing from appointment was that he did not need to go back for 6 months and there was nothing we needed to do. I have learned that when they want to get you in as soon as possible that is bad. Six months until you need to come in again is a good thing. No call from the doctor is a great thing.

This also meant 6 months to pray. Six months to lay my boy on the altar of God again. Six months to anoint his head with oil and pray healing. Six months for our support community to lift Nathan up to our Father. Six months to accept. Six months to trust. Six months to believe God knows best. Six months to increase our faith and know that no matter God’s answer He is faithful. Six months to know “even if ” we will trust.

So, in late July I picked up my boy from children’s camp to take him for the 6 month follow up. Same doctor, nephrologist, but she had a different demeanor and a pep in her step! She said that Nathan’s numbers were so much better! After getting his current labs, he was now stage 2 chronic kidney disease! Who would have thought we would be so excited about stage 2 chronic kidney disease?!?! (It is all about perspective, people!) People live with stage 2. People do not get a kidney transplant with stage 2! No check-up for a year! Woohoo! A much better appointment! A few days later Nathan saw his regular pediatrician for another check-up and she was shocked by our news. She said it was rare for anyone to go down a stage! What?! Wow!!! We know our God is AMAZING!

We praise God for this healing! We know that it is God’s grace and mercy. We would have praised God no matter what, but we are so thankful for this answer. God is so good even if…We trust God through cancer, we trust God through the unknown, we trust God through chronic kidney disease.

It is never a dull moment for the Jcrew! I could say so much more about how amazing our Father is and I could say more about how grateful I am to get to be mom to 3 incredible kids, but I won’t today! We love you and are so thankful for your continued prayers and support of our family! We continue to enjoy every moment and appreciate them all!

I cannot even begin to imagine living in a place I did not feel safe. I cannot imagine loving my country, but knowing I, nor my children, could survive in my birth country. I cannot imagine knowing my only option for survival and life was to take the risks of entering a country illegally because that risk was less than staying in my own home. I cannot imagine knowing I may die even in the journey. Knowing I may not get to stay even if I survive the trip. I cannot imagine having made it to safety, but still living in fear, because I may be separated from my children and family, but it was worth the risk. My children were worth the risks for the idea and hope of a new life.

Then another side, which I cannot imagine either, is knowing the United States as my home, but living with the fear that I may be forced to move to a place I do not remember, a place that I do not know, a place that my family has fled. I may be forced to leave my house, my job, my life simply because when I was a child my family brought me to a place that would allow me a better life.

These 2 scenarios are just a slice of the fears and realities of so many. There are millions of other stories and realities that I cannot fathom. Realities that I personally do not face because I was born in a particular area of the planet. Because nothing I did allows me rights and freedoms that I have only because of where I was born. My children have rights and freedoms because of where they were born, so they do not have to fear being forced to move and I do not have to make plans to get them someplace safe and with hope. I do not have to take risks and make sacrifices to ensure they are safe and that I am able to feed them and offer them choices for a hopeful future.

A few days ago I posted this image/quote on my social media accounts. I was then traveling and did not see all of the dialogs about this post until a few days after posting. WOW!

I was jet-lagged and busy after returning from my trip and so saddened by much of the conversation that it has taken me some time, thought, and time with Jesus to even formulate a response.

The point of this image was validated. The arguments supporting what is happening at our borders, the arguments supporting a “wall” are saturated with hypocrisy. It seems TO ME the majority of white, evangelical Christians are on the wrong side of the immigration issue. This breaks my heart. For followers of Jesus to not simply just be okay, which is sad enough on its own, but to also be loud, vocal, staunch supporters of laws and actions that are so devastating to people is overwhelmingly sad.

Each that posted was passionate and a few dogmatic in their approach. This does not surprise me. The arguments and discussions were not new to me. The issues of immigration law, policy, reform are a major issue in our country. I understand that this one issue is encompassed in a multitude of more issues and layers. I understand this is not an easy situation. I understand that there are laws and reasons and there are complexities that I do not grasp.

We do not choose where we are born. Simply because we were born in a certain area of the planet does not make us better or worth more. Why would anyone not want to help another person have safety, security, and hope for life? Safety, security, and hope we have simply because of where we were born.

Millions of innocent people were killed because of laws and policies. Did that make it right because that was Hitler’s law and it was illegal for a people to work and live and breathe simply because of being Jewish? I do not buy this idea that the only problem people have with illegal immigrants is the legality. “If it was done legally…” If that was the case then why are Christians in the United States not standing up, yelling from the mountain tops for the law, the policy to change instead of supporting families being torn apart? Instead of supporting and cheering for the building of a wall. Instead of shaking their heads and pointing their fingers at problems because of “them”?!?!

Jesus was clear in His message to love our neighbor. There is nothing loving about taking parents from children. There is nothing loving about forcing people to leave because their parents brought them to the U.S. before they even had a choice. There is nothing loving about making and enforcing laws that destroy homes, families, people. There is nothing loving about taking away hope and possibility.

Detachment and ignorance are a few ways that I can see that a follower of Jesus can justify their belief that this deplorable treatment of people is okay. Surely, if a person has any relationships with an immigrant person whether they be legal or illegal then there would be a better understanding of this situation. When I use the term relationship, I do not mean, they mow my lawn or clean my house. I mean meaningful relationship that I know the names of their children, meals have been shared, we attend each other’s celebrations. Unless you are in meaningful relationship with at least 3 immigrant families and understand their reasons for immigrating to the United States, then I do not believe it feasible to have a clear understanding of more than one side of this immigration issue, an issue that is personal and about real-life people.

^{Mark 12.}²⁹“The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.^[^e^] ³⁰Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’^[^f^] ³¹The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’^[^g^] There is no commandment greater than these.”

As believers of Jesus, as people saved by grace, as followers of Jesus we are to love our neighbor. We are to love our neighbor whether our neighbor be legal or not.

I hope that if I came home one day and a family had illegally come into my home and after the shock and fear that I would have, and when I discovered how and why this family was in my home, I hope when I realized that they had escaped from the neighborhood nearby because there was a riot or a tornado or a gang take over or a pollutant or some other danger that did not allow them to ever go back…I hope that I would see passed what was MINE, that I would love them and be grateful that I had a place to offer safety that I would welcome them into my home and help them find a new way. I hope I would love them as Jesus commanded. Is that not what he offered me?

Thank you, Father, for your love for me. Thank you, God for your mercy and grace in my life. Thank you for your provision when it seems there are no resources and no way. I pray you will open the eyes of your people. I pray that those who do not know you will see You through your people. I pray your people, that we will love our neighbor even when that looks different than we think it should. I pray that we will stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves. Help us be a voice for the voiceless. I pray that we will love extravagantly, that we will be willing to make sacrifices so that others can be loved. I pray that we will have your eyes. Jesus, help me see what you see, love like you love.

Father, I pray for those who are looking for better way. I pray for mercy for the families that are in what seems to be a hopeless situation. I pray for protection and peace for the families that have been divided.

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Even If

When my son, Nathan, was 2 and a half years old he was diagnosed with Stage 3 Wilm’s Tumor, which is a kidney cancer. He had one kidney removed, underwent radiation, and had almost a year of chemotherapy treatment. Nathan has now been cancer-free for 12 years (as of 8/23)!

Precious Nathan, afterward, decided he “did not really like that doctor and he thought a transplant would really hurt, because, when he had his tonsils out he thought he was going to die, it hurt so bad, and he thought a transplant might be way worse!”

We praise God for this healing! We know that it is God’s grace and mercy. We would have praised God no matter what, but we are so thankful for this answer. God is so good even if…We trust God through cancer, we trust God through the unknown, we trust God through chronic kidney disease.

Love Your Neighbor