I am wading into the deep waters of life as a parent of a teenager. She is only 12, but I think maybe 12 is the new 15!

My children have been one of God’s greatest tools He uses to teach me. He has used them to teach me about Him, His love for me, about myself, and just about people in general.  I have no doubt that these new waters of the teen years are going to be any different, but maybe some new, rough waves!

I continue to be reminded how important my model for my children is. It is that hard reality of they will do what they see, not what I say! How humbling it is to see myself in them. Granted sometimes it can be a blessing, but other times it is maddening!!!

One of my life theories is that the things that bother me most about other people are the things that are most like myself.  ( I may have to blog another day about that!)  I have found this theory to be true in my children.  I get frustrated when their rooms are a mess or their clothes cover their closet floors instead of fill the drawers.  It frustrates me that my sweet oldest daughter waits until Sunday to read a book and DO the book report that is due Monday.

Why does that bother me?  I should have compassion right?  I mean it takes me a few days, okay, a week to hang up my laundry.  I pile books and magazines next to my bed.  I was doing my 2011 taxes on October 13 since they were due October 15 with my extension.

As we are stepping into the new waters of the teen years, my husband and I began praying for God’s wisdom concerning this matter.  We were asking for clarity and direction on the best way to discipline, love and correct specific areas of our children’s lives.

I did not get the answer I was wanting.  I was not led to the perfect how to parent book.  Sadly, it was not a new revelation, not a big surprise because it does generally take me a few times to get something anyway! This answer was a good reminder that this solution applies not just to my relationship with my husband, not just with friends, and business interactions, but also, with parenting these sweet loans God as given me to parent.

My prayer focus and effort does not need to be my children, but their parent!

My prayer focus and efforts need to be on me.  On my life.  On my example.  On my model.  My model of discipline in my own life.  My efforts to love.  My example of asking for forgiveness.  My model of doing my best and all I can to honor God in all areas of my life.  My dependence must continue to be on God and not what I can do to fix this, fix them, fix this situation.

I can’t fix her, them!  I can’t make her what I want!  This is their journey.  Yes, I need to pray for my children.  Yes, I need to train and discipline.  Yes, there need to be consequences for choices.  Yes, Praise God, I get to be an integral part of their journeys!

The best thing I can do is show them how to honor God with their lives.  I can show mercy. I can demonstrate forgiveness.  I can model discipline with my body and time.  I can control my actions and my words.  I can set boundaries.  I can show them how to have healthy relationships. Wow, it is a lot!  I am hoping if I am able to at least model a few of the above listed successfully, then maybe they will see lil’ something positive that leads them to my Great Saviour.

Then my prayer continues…God use me.  Shine through me.  Love these precious ones through me. Give me your view of them.  Help me love them like You.  Help me be like You.   May they see You, not me.  May they do as You do!