Oct14

Grandpa, Mr. Roy Brown

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There are a multitude of challenges that come with being a single parent. One of those challenges is filling in the big gaps of the missing parent. Thankfully, Father God provides various relationships along the way to fill the needed voids. I have always felt these voids more obviously for my son than for my girls. Although, throughout the years various men have stepped in and poured into my children during milestone seasons. My son, always eager to learn, make, and do, was missing out. 

It was December 2022 at a neighborhood open house the trajectory of my precious son’s life was changed. 

At this Christmas open house a neighbor came through our front door and a casual conversation began about who helped him put up all his Christmas lights. This neighbor shared how he likes to hire a young man to help him throughout the year with not only his lights, but various tasks on his property. He said his most recent helper had gone away to college and he did not currently have any help. He explained how he knew he had so much to teach and things he wanted to do, but he physically could no longer do it all. In fact, he said “I am of an age when I bend over to tie my shoe, then I need a nap.” He liked hiring someone he could teach and still get projects done along the way. He said he needed to reach out to the high school or vo-tech to find someone new to help him.

It was during this same time period Nathan was finishing his first semester of high school. He was also weeks away from turning 16 and feeling the burning pressure to have gas money!

As our neighbor, Roy Brown, explained his need, we could not invite Nathan into the conversation quick enough to introduce them to one another. Mr. Brown was open to having Nate come down and check things out and Nate was excited to learn and for the opportunity to have a job! 

Although, at the time we knew this could potentially be a really good opportunity, we really had no idea! It was from this meeting that Nate turned into a man. Mr. Brown was our neighbor to ➡ Nate’s boss ➡, to mentor ➡, to best friend➡ , to Grandpa. Mr. Brown, henceforth, Grandpa, was a blessing to Nathan and our family straight from Father God. 

It was not too long before Nate began many phrases; Grandpa said, Grandpa says, Grandpa did, Grandpa told, Grandpa showed me…Nathan quickly learned about safety practices with machinery and working outside. He was quickly welding the fence and there may have been some grass burned in the process. He learned how to string and hang Christmas lights, all about cutting down trees, and eventually the ins and outs of yard care. Growing up in houses with only women, Nate was living his dream. He would come home dirtier than he did as an elementary kid after a long day of play. 

Fast forward and Nate would take trips to the dump, wax Jolene, the motor home, he even laid a new floor in Jolene. Nathan has learned so many skills from Grandpa. Skills that he will know and use for the rest of his life. This would have been enough. This would have been an answer to prayer.

But God, He does more than we can ask. God has used Grandpa to show Nate how to learn, how to teach, how to lead. You can imagine a young man like Nate did not always get things right. There have been times Nate has come home and I would look at him with my jaw on the ground as I wondered what consequences would come from this mistake. My tender hearted boy, always eager to please, had simply learned. Because of Grandpa’s responses. He did not react with Nate. He responded. 

And Father God is into abundance. So, the learning did not stop with the practical skills, or the learning from mistakes, but continued on how to follow Jesus. How to love your family. How to honor Father God as a man in a community of believers. 

So, to say our world was shifted a little over a week ago would be an under statement. It is hard to see your kids hurting. It is hard having to tell them that Grandpa is with Jesus. And just typing that seems wrong, but Grandpa is with Jesus, but Nate is not.Nate and so many others of us are heartbroken. It seems way too soon. We were not ready. On October 5th Mr. Roy Brown went to heaven after a full day of doing things he loved and being with the people he loved. 

Grandpa has a beautiful family that feels his loss so deeply. When the elder and leader of a family is gone it leaves the rest spinning, so please pray for this precious family as they learn how to do life without their husband, dad, grandpa and friend. 

As for my precious son, please pray for him too. On Sunday evenings and Mondays when he would have been checking in with Grandpa for the plan for the week and each morning from 8-noon when he would have been spending time learning something new. 

I could never express my gratitude enough to Grandpa and the whole Brown family for welcoming my son into your homes and into your lives. Thank you. You are in my prayers and we are just down the street when you need us!

Sep13

I have had a few weeks off from MD Anderson. However, next week I go back and I am so thankful I can take my work with me! Last time, I didn’t think my doctor had been told before, “I need to go, I have a class I’m teaching starting in 4 minutes!”The last few weeks, I have mostly felt like crap, tired, and hurting with waves of energy and feeling normal. Thankfully,  none of this has stopped me from living my life, and I have a really great life!I have scans next week, and we will find out the effects of trial #2! Thank you for your continued prayers, encouragement, and support.#4realjill

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Aug27

Update 8.29.25 #4realjill

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Psalm 121:1-8 ESV
[1] I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? [2]  My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. [3] He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber. [4] Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. [5] The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand. [6]  The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night. [7] The Lord will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life. [8] The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore.

https://bible.com/bible/59/psa.121.1-8.ESV

Pastor Andrew’s Message August 17, 2025

Jul14

On My Nerves!

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On My Nerves!

I got kicked off trial drug.

The facts are:
The spot on my brain shows no change and gives no indication of cancer.

No cancer is detected in my liver.

12% growth on tumors found earlier this year.

AND the cause of my removal from the trial is progression with a new spot in my chest. 

So,  not the news I wanted.  New plan is being determined by my team of MD Andy  doctors,  so I should learn this week what my next steps and choices are.

Fun fact, if you notice a droop in my eye it is because of pressure of tumor on nerves. Similar to cause of paralyzed diaphragm.   Like truly, this is getting on my nerves!

Jul6

End of Cycle 2!

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End of Cycle 2!

I have had many thoughts running through my mind that I want to write about but, for some reason, I have been avoiding it. I do want to share about my last trip to MD Andy, when my precious son, Nate, joined me and an update about this coming week!

First coming this week! I am about to complete my 2nd cycle/month on the trial drug and make my 10th trip to Houston since April 18th! That means I will get to have a brain MRI and an PET Scan! There is a real thing called scanxiety. This for me is wrapped in nervousness AND hope. There is a weird tension between what could be and what I hope to be. Obviously, the hope is for proof that the drug is working! Possibilities include the tumors are gone, to anywhere in between, to there is growth or progression. Clearly, the hope and prayer is for disappearance and or shrinkage of tumors and for sure I do not want any new ones! If the tumors have disappeared, shrunk, stayed the same, or only increased by 20% then I stay on the trial. If there were to be more than 20% growth of the previously seen tumors or new tumors then I would move to different treatment option.

So, Monday, Jenni, Lydia, and I will drive to Houston. Tuesday, I will have imaging done. Wednesday, I will do lab work, Dr./clinic visit, and then have 2 treatment room visits. Thursday, I will have follow up appointment with the brain doctor. In the midst of all of that I hope to see some framily, eat some good food, and do some celebrating of my favorite firstborn’s 25th birthday! 🥳Side note: I really cannot believe it has been 25 years, since I became a mom. I have truly loved every season of parenting (excluding potty training), but this season of being mom of an adult is extra fun and special, but maybe, I have thought that with each season! Although, I have yet to get to the “easy” season of parenting. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Now A Long Story!

Okay, so almost 2 weeks ago I had lab work and a “fast track” clinic visit. Nate and I flew to Houston Tuesday evening to be there for early morning check-in Wednesday. Early morning as in 8am be at MD Andy.

Back up to earlier in that week and I just did not want to go. This was the 2nd time I had a full week of not going, but the first week I had not going AND not working! I really liked it. So, I was not thrilled about going, especially, because it was an appointment mainly for blood work and so the clinic can say they saw me. Because I am doing the trial this has created some appointments that are because I am on the trial and there are requirments for the study. I am not ungrateful and so, so happy, blessed, grateful, humbled to get to be on the trial and grateful to even have the opportunity to be on the trial…really! At the same time it has been a lot. You know how you do something really hard and then when you are finished you are like, wow, how did I do that?!?! Well, that is how the last 12 weeks have been, and it has gotten so much easier, but wow, how did/do I do that?!? (I know how, Holy Spirit, Father God in me)

So, I was not having the best attitude about going, but knew it would be quick trip AND Nate was going AND we were going to see some Houston framily! Then, when it was time to head to airport I got sick. Thankfully, my sweet Aunt Pam and sister quickly changed our flight. I rested. Felt better then left on later flight. However, that meant, we saw Wood girls late and had less time with them. But we still saw them, laughed with them, hugged them, and had ice cream!

Okay, so now, we are back to that early check in time. Nate was a trooper and was a big encouragement to me! Labs were quick and easy, so we headed up to “fast track” clinic. Fast track my @lm#n$op!!! Now, I had received a call the day before, when I was in bed trying to feel better to get on the plane, and warned that MD Andy had had some kind of computer mishap and to expect delays with lab results. Okay, no problem, I have an early morning “fast track” appointment and understand there may be a delay. Now what do you think of as a delay?!?

The clinic opens at 8:00 am. After visiting the lab I check in at clinic at 830, my appointment was 8:20, but no problem I was late, they knew I was in the lab. There is maybe one other person in waiting room. This office has 30 providers that see patients it is generally a very full office and waiting area. I greet my friends at the counter, they are happy to see me and my son. I ask if he has time to run and get breakfast before I am called back, oh, sure, he has time, if I am called back before he gets back they will tell him where to find me. Super, great!!! They explain there might be a delay because of what happened Monday, but it is good I am there so early, it will be fine. Probably, not more than 2 or 3 hours. 🫨 This is still okay, right?! This is what I am here for. I got my kindle. Our phones are charged up. Nate has food.

Nate gets back, he eats. He attempts to share his biscuit, but you know they like me to not eat before my clinic appointment, so it is fine, everything is fine. An hour goes by, I keep getting, notifications on my MyChart app with some of my lab results. Okay, this is good. Two hours go by. My front desk friend checks on us sometime during this, apologizing, asking if we need anything. Waiting room fills up, empties out, some have been there almost as long as us. Three and a half hours I go up again and just check, new friend at front desk, oh, yea, no they are still waiting on one more lab report, she explains it has taken some up to 3 hours, yes, I have been waiting 3.5 hours, yea, I am sorry, it may be 4 to 5 hours. Uh, what, excuse me?! They feel bad, they know we have been there, they check with nurses, I hear them explaining the same things to others, our Houston friend is circling the area waiting to take us to lunch. I did not even want to come, except I was getting to see friends. Nate is a hero. He does not get annoyed, stays calm, sneaks to the back to get us some good ice, takes a walk, makes me take a walk, plays on his phone. I put phone on airplane mode to play my game ad free. Turn phone back on to text friend, yea, still waiting.

SIX HOURS LATER!!! Six hours later I am called back. I cheer when they call my name, like I am on the Price Is Right. I offer hope to those in the waiting room, they too might get called back today. As I go back I ask if they want to take my vitals again, it had almost been a day since they took my blood pressure and weighed me, I am sure I had lost weight by then. They did not. I quickly 🙄 was seen by one of the providers I like more than the others. You will not believe what she said?!? Well, I do not have the lab results back yet, but I thought I would just go ahead and see you, examine you, and call you with results and let you know if you should dose today. You know, none of that was bad, but you know, why not examine me 6 hours ago, or 5 or 4 or 3 hours earlier and say all of that?!? So, 6 hours in waiting room for an 8 minute exam/conversation followed by a phone call 10 minutes later saying, labs were good, go ahead and take today’s dose and you can eat. 😲

Our sweet friend, Amanda, quickly picked us up and took us to airport just in time for our “late” flight. At least we got to catch up with her on the car ride. We grabbed something to eat at airport. Big thanks to the Wood girls and Amanda for accommodating our unexpectedness. Our brief time with sweet friends made the trip worth it!

The best news>>> the side effects are minimal and treatable and easily tolerable. The shoulder pain has GREATLY decreased! Maybe it is new meds, maybe the tumors are smaller and not pushing on the nerves, maybe both?!? The biggest daily side effect is fatigue. Sometimes, I let it take over and do not do much, but mostly I really try to keep doing all the things I want, even if I do not feel like I have the energy. I am enjoying summer, being creative, reading, and spending time with family and friends.

So my wisdom gained? Keep doing the hard things. Everybody has hard stuff. No one is special in that department. Do your hard stuff and help other people through their hard stuff as you can. Let’s not be victims. Do what you can when you can. Own what is yours and do and give all you can when you can. I know what really helped during that 6 hours of waiting was how kind and apologetic and sympathetic my friends at the front desk were. “I am sorry”, really helps, does not fix it, but when sincere sure is soothing. I can only imagine how difficult their jobs were made by the glitch. All the people, they had to explain over and over to. I am glad when I return this week, they will not hide when they see me coming, because I was not rude to them when they were doing the best they could, hopefully they will be excited to see the wannabe Price Is Right contestant. 😂

Firstly, secondly, finally, and lastly, Father God is still good even when. I still trust Him. He is my strength, my confidence, my Hope, my Joy, my Peace. My faith continues to grow and is strengthened! He is good even when healing comes with weekly trips to Houston, even when fatigued, even when I am feeling all the nerves in my shoulder, even when there are 6 hour waits for 8 minute visits, even when people are stupid and hurtful and dumb, even when I do not understand Father God is good.

Thank you for your continued prayers, love, and support! jj