This is a article that I wrote for Moore Monthly’s September 2012 Issue that I thought I would share with you, if you happened to have missed it!

In most of our homes it is necessary to leave our children home a few hours each day or at least sometime during the week.  Due to finances and juggling work and school schedules it is a relief for our children to reach an age to have this option.  

I find it interesting that very few states have specific laws addressing this issue.  In the state of Oklahoma, we as the parent or guardian get to decide at what age to leave our child home alone.  The majority of states, including our own, do not have laws that regulate an age children can be left home unattended.  The few that do have laws concerning this vary in the age restrictions from age 8 to 14. 

It is dangerous to rush into this milestone if your family is not ready.  We may have it in our minds that at a certain age our children can handle it because that is when we started staying home by ourselves.  We may believe it is time because our friends let their kids stay home alone. We may decide it is time because our wallets say it is time!  

I believe in this situation we get to put on our most intuitive, grown-up parent hats and decide on the maturity and responsibility level of our children.  Not all children of the same age can handle the same choices and responsibilities.  We must determine what our children can handle and for what length of time.  You know your child best! 

It is vital to have clear, definite boundaries for our children.  Our children are going to feel safer and be safer during this time if they know exactly what they can and cannot do.  Lots of conversation needs to happen before they are left alone.  Some things to include in this dialogue are: can they answer the phone, the door, can they use the stove or microwave, is it okay for them to go outside or do they need to stay inside. 

 It may be helpful to give them some things to accomplish while they have the house to themselves!  I like to tell my kids they can watch one show and then TV off.  I generally give them a few chores that must be done before I get back.  Give them specific guidelines about what they can eat and what they can do.

 Another issue that comes up at my house when leaving children home alone is “who is in charge?”  You will know best if it is a good idea to leave your children home with siblings.  Again, more conversation is needed on what the boundaries and responsibilities are for each child.  I have found it depends on the length of time I am going to be gone if all three of ours can stay home alone or maybe just two. Sometimes it depends on the day and how everyone is getting along.  We know as parents we must stay flexible!

 We are the parent, the chief, the boss, the responsible adult, so, put on your grown up hat and decide what is best for your house, your children, and your family.