I feel great! I am in my third month of treatment. I feel healed. Maybe it is a mindset. Maybe I am in denial. The fact is the tumor I initially found that launched this journey I can no longer feel. That tumor was about the size of a fist.😧 I cannot feel it at all now. Also a fact is my stamina is more limited and I battle fatigue. I have quick waves of uneasiness/nausea/heat flash, but they are quick and completely tolerable. My blood work confirms I am on treatment. Some things are high, some things are low which is expected with my treatment. The biggest concern right now is my liver. My liver enzymes are off the charts high. My medication dosage has been adjusted to hopefully ease these numbers. These high numbers are not anything that I yet feel or notice symptoms of, however, clearly I do not want to damage my liver. At the same time I do not want to decrease medicine if I do not have to, because I believe it is working. Pain and discomfort I faced this summer is gone. I feel great!

So, send up praises to our big, awesome Father God! AND of course, please keep lifting me up! Pray for continued healing and that those liver enzymes get down to where they need to be! Also, pray for my sleep. I am tired, but battle being able to go to sleep at night.

I will have MRI and Pet Scan at the end of October/first of November to get an inside view. Also, in the next month or so I will see a oncologist gynecologist surgeon (you know that was a lot of school to earn that title!!😁) and then hopefully have surgery to remove ovaries. The kind of cancer I am fighting is genetic and puts me at a higher risk for ovarian cancer, so I will get those ovaries outta there. They have served me well and been successful in their function!

We are settling into a routine after so many changes the last few months. I am absolutely loving my new job! I am still overwhelmed in the best possible way with God’s provision at just the right time! I am honored to get to work with the people I get to work. I love the challenges this new position brings as I search and discover creative ways to reach and connect with kids/families virtually. I stay motivated learning different platforms and methods for teaching and learning. I cannot even adequately express the many ways Father God has orchestrated this job {and the people and working from home and the variety of students and the level of professionalism and care and the balance of challenge and comfort the job, the position, and the organization} to show His love for me.

During the last 6 or 7 weeks I also had the opportunity to take a class virtually. I am teaching virtually, so why not learn virtually? I took a writing class that met once a week for 6 weeks. The first lesson was about poetry. I like poetry. It is not something I regularly read and for sure have not had a practice of writing since it was required of me in junior high. However, I paid for the class so I was going to follow directions. In that class the teacher (precious Kristen LaValley) said, “look around your room and write a poem about something that makes you happy or brings you joy.” Now she gave a little more instruction before that, but that was supposed to be our inspiration. Okay, hold this thought…

You know how when you clean out a drawer or closet and everything has to come out of the drawer or closet. Then you wonder how all of that fit in that space. You are surrounded by a mess, right?!

Okay, now this writing class started during the first weeks of school. Remember the “whirlwind” of change?!? Well, I had to transition from going to work at a school with a classroom to going to school across the room in my house to teach at a desk with a computer. I have not been set up to work from home, so lots of change was involved. I moved my bed where my “dressing area” had been and put a desk/virtual classroom where my bed had been and then had to consider what will my classroom look like behind me. I don’t want students to see my bed, but if they see the window then there will be glare and I myself want to be able to see out the window…Then how do I know what I will need because I still will need office stuff and globes and items to use when teaching…but all my classroom stuff is mixed up, all boxed up, but I know I have at least 6 staplers and tape dispensers, but which tub are they in in the garage and why does this stupid, dumb, stupid printer not work now?!?!

So, when the teacher says look around the room and write a poem about something you see…I am thinking, ugh, uh, what?!? It was/is a mess. So, this is the poem I wrote, mess and change.

Just so you know, my teacher said poems do not have to rhyme. All of this to say… Change is hard and often not pretty and often not fast. For the last 7 or 8 weeks anytime my sister comes into my space, I ask, “does it look better?” She generally, looks at me like I am kidding (I am not), and says, “um, yea, sure.” 🙄 Well, it takes time to adjust to change and sometimes little adjustments make big difference even if not obviously seen by anyone else. I think I finally have my monitors how they will stay, but there are still piles of really good stuff surrounding me that does not have a nice home yet. That is okay.

My journey in the world of cancer has brought much change. The mess of this change is scary and much of the change/mess is still unknown and yet to be discovered. That is okay. I am doing the best I can with what I know now and can do now. I am living my best life and praising God for His consistency in my life in and through all the changes and all the messes!

Do not be too hard on yourself during your changes and messes. Some things take more time than others and that is okay. I have found for real growth there is generally change and mess that comes before the growth can be seen and/or recognized by yourself or others (like your sister). Remarkably, after the pain and frustrations of the change/mess things are clearer, brighter, fresher, and hopefully, in regards to my work space more organized!

I love you all and am so thankful for your continued support, texts, messages, cards, hugs, and all the prayer! Thank you to everyone who has ordered a CELEBRATE TODAY t-shirt and if you have not yet, then you have until Sunday, 10.15.23. ORDER HERE 💜jj