There are a multitude of challenges that come with being a single parent. One of those challenges is filling in the big gaps of the missing parent. Thankfully, Father God provides various relationships along the way to fill the needed voids. I have always felt these voids more obviously for my son than for my girls. Although, throughout the years various men have stepped in and poured into my children during milestone seasons. My son, always eager to learn, make, and do, was missing out.
It was December 2022 at a neighborhood open house the trajectory of my precious son’s life was changed.
At this Christmas open house a neighbor came through our front door and a casual conversation began about who helped him put up all his Christmas lights. This neighbor shared how he likes to hire a young man to help him throughout the year with not only his lights, but various tasks on his property. He said his most recent helper had gone away to college and he did not currently have any help. He explained how he knew he had so much to teach and things he wanted to do, but he physically could no longer do it all. In fact, he said “I am of an age when I bend over to tie my shoe, then I need a nap.” He liked hiring someone he could teach and still get projects done along the way. He said he needed to reach out to the high school or vo-tech to find someone new to help him.
It was during this same time period Nathan was finishing his first semester of high school. He was also weeks away from turning 16 and feeling the burning pressure to have gas money!
As our neighbor, Roy Brown, explained his need, we could not invite Nathan into the conversation quick enough to introduce them to one another. Mr. Brown was open to having Nate come down and check things out and Nate was excited to learn and for the opportunity to have a job!
Although, at the time we knew this could potentially be a really good opportunity, we really had no idea! It was from this meeting that Nate turned into a man. Mr. Brown was our neighbor to ➡ Nate’s boss ➡, to mentor ➡, to best friend➡ , to Grandpa. Mr. Brown, henceforth, Grandpa, was a blessing to Nathan and our family straight from Father God.
It was not too long before Nate began many phrases; Grandpa said, Grandpa says, Grandpa did, Grandpa told, Grandpa showed me…Nathan quickly learned about safety practices with machinery and working outside. He was quickly welding the fence and there may have been some grass burned in the process. He learned how to string and hang Christmas lights, all about cutting down trees, and eventually the ins and outs of yard care. Growing up in houses with only women, Nate was living his dream. He would come home dirtier than he did as an elementary kid after a long day of play.
Fast forward and Nate would take trips to the dump, wax Jolene, the motor home, he even laid a new floor in Jolene. Nathan has learned so many skills from Grandpa. Skills that he will know and use for the rest of his life. This would have been enough. This would have been an answer to prayer.
But God, He does more than we can ask. God has used Grandpa to show Nate how to learn, how to teach, how to lead. You can imagine a young man like Nate did not always get things right. There have been times Nate has come home and I would look at him with my jaw on the ground as I wondered what consequences would come from this mistake. My tender hearted boy, always eager to please, had simply learned. Because of Grandpa’s responses. He did not react with Nate. He responded.
And Father God is into abundance. So, the learning did not stop with the practical skills, or the learning from mistakes, but continued on how to follow Jesus. How to love your family. How to honor Father God as a man in a community of believers.
So, to say our world was shifted a little over a week ago would be an under statement. It is hard to see your kids hurting. It is hard having to tell them that Grandpa is with Jesus. And just typing that seems wrong, but Grandpa is with Jesus, but Nate is not.Nate and so many others of us are heartbroken. It seems way too soon. We were not ready. On October 5th Mr. Roy Brown went to heaven after a full day of doing things he loved and being with the people he loved.
Grandpa has a beautiful family that feels his loss so deeply. When the elder and leader of a family is gone it leaves the rest spinning, so please pray for this precious family as they learn how to do life without their husband, dad, grandpa and friend.
As for my precious son, please pray for him too. On Sunday evenings and Mondays when he would have been checking in with Grandpa for the plan for the week and each morning from 8-noon when he would have been spending time learning something new.
I could never express my gratitude enough to Grandpa and the whole Brown family for welcoming my son into your homes and into your lives. Thank you. You are in my prayers and we are just down the street when you need us!
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