I hate homework.  I hated it as a 6^th grade Sky Ranch Mustang.  I hated it all my years at Moore West Junior High.  I hated homework as a high school student at Westmoore.  By college I was used to it!  However, upon graduating college I was so glad to have the hefty, always there, weight of homework off of my shoulders!

To my horror, as a grown up, as a parent, I have not found homework to be any better and in many ways, it is worse!  First, it is worse because there is somewhat more responsibility as a parent to schedule adequate time and space for homework to be done. Second, which is slightly horrifying, is that we as parents are expected to know how to do the homework and be an available resource.  Finally, when called upon to be that resource we cannot just do the homework, but must lead our children in the proper direction so they can learn and come to their own conclusions. 

It is challenging for me not to wonder if the teachers realize how busy we are.  We like to just kick it in the evening- that is- when there is not a church function, dance class, soccer practice, gymnastics meet…our lives are busy!  We don’t have time for homework.  Do we do homework right after school and get it done?  I do not like that option, we all need a little decompress time. Give some down time and then hit the books?  Then it is time for dinner and all these books and papers are on the dinner table.  Do we do homework after dinner and then it takes longer than expected and it really is time for bed!

So we find a time to do the homework and we as parents are called upon because our child did not understand that part in class.  How long ago did I learn how to divide fractions?  I did not learn to do long division that way!  Thankfully, it gives me great comfort in knowing that Moore Public Schools does offer a math hotline (405.735.4645)!  However, what is it saying to my children if I don’t understand it either, and the fact that I have not needed these particular skills in the last twenty years?!

I do find some satisfaction when the homework is easy to me!  However, the struggle then becomes how much do I do, how much do I help?  Many times I just want to yank the pencil and paper and say “let me do it!”  I always seem to have this struggle during science fair time.  I was never a science genius but I did happen to be successful during science fairs.  In actuality, the science fair process and procedures have not really changed in the last twenty years.  The science fair has various steps that must be followed and necessary for a good grade.  The struggle in our house generally comes at the end when it is time to assemble the board.  I could very easily just say, “go to bed, I will do this!”

I do not like that these adolescent behaviors and attitudes come out of me when it comes to homework!  As a grown up, I do understand the value of learning it for oneself.  I know that my children will be better people when they understand the concepts they are learning.  I am married to an educator, so I know homework is often necessary.  I accept that there is great value in repetition of math facts and sight words and various other things.  I know that the school day does not allow adequate time for all that needs to be accomplished for our students to achieve all that they can.  I recognize and accept that it is not only the teacher’s responsibility to prepare my children for tests and well, life.   I am also aware that my children being my children could possibly be slightly more concerned about conversations and social activities than fractions or spelling and, therefore, not get all accomplished that is necessary during their school day.

Homework is a large part about responsibility and discipline.  I want my children to have a good work ethic and be responsible adults.  So for that I would have to admit as a parent I am thankful that homework does teach these precious people about responsibility.  I want them to manage and be disciplined with their time.  It is just a struggle on the grown up side of homework to know how to respond and handle the Sunday night 9pm drama of “I forgot about that, I HAVE to turn it in tomorrow!”  Have I failed this weekend as a parent?  Were we too busy to take care of our responsibilities?  Should I have asked a few more times about homework?  Did I ask about homework?  Is it my job to ask about homework?  Do I allow her to stay up to finish what she had all weekend to do?  Do I want her to start her week out tired and cranky?  Do I want her to get a zero?

These are some of the reasons, why the little girl inside of me, still hates homework! 

It is necessary for me to put my adolescent thoughts aside and put on my grown up hat and be the grown up!  This means creating a positive environment for homework.  It means making a place at the table or desk for successful homework to be done.  It means being available to help and encourage my children.  One thing I have discovered is that many times homework is homework because they need one on one help with an assignment.  It is impossible for our teachers with a 1 to 26 ratio to be able to instruct our students with the necessary one on one help that they need for optimum success.  So, I cannot just say “go, do your homework.” My child needs me to do my homework, which during this season is helping them with their homework.

Some solutions that help me to overcome my detest of homework have been about attitude.  Attitude impacts so much of what we do as people.  My children know I don’t like homework, but they do not know I hate it.  I make every effort to remain positive in all that they bring home to start and to finish.  I want them to know that I am so excited about their opportunities to learn new sight words or complete a science experiment!

As a family we strive to encourage one another and be excited about what one another are learning.  We have found it successful for us to encourage one another in our learning.  Even my four year old gets excited when his sisters make a 100% on a test or project. The whole family is excited when AR (Accelerated Reader) goals are met or one of them gets a good grade on a report or test. On the same hand my older children love to get to help their little brother with whatever letter he is learning each week.

It often astounds me how different each child from same family really is.  Our precious middle daughter is a sponge and wants to soak up all she can learn.  She is our child that comes in the house after school pulling out her binder ready to do her homework.  Our eldest child is the one that needs a big prod and pushes and sometimes a pull to get going on her homework.  It is important to recognize the differences in our children and meet them where they are.  I have learned often the hard way that they each process and learn in different ways and most of the time different from me.  This is all okay and one of the joys of parenting multiple children even during homework time!  I will have to admit it is fun to see their little minds process basics of life that they are learning and experiencing for the first time.

It is difficult to face that just when you thought you were passed one drudgery of life that in reality the hard part has just started!  Homework is harder as a parent.  We do love our children enough to take an active role in instilling life principles of responsibility and discipline.  Homework is one way we can do that.  I am going to hold on to the hope that maybe homework will be better as a grandparent!  Until then, press on, no more whining, and let us keep our grown up hats in place!